5 Pet Peeves

Today I will be writing about my 5 pet peeves. To select only 5 is a bit of a challenge, since as a general rule I don’t like the human race, but I feel like I came up with 5 substantial peeves.

1. Inconsiderate Drivers

This peeve is an amalgamation of road behaviours, but the gist of it is:  YOU ARE NOT ALONE ON THE ROAD. If I am coming up behind you, on a two-lane highway, and you are plodding along at 60km/h in a 120km/h zone, go into the slow lane where you belong! Don’t be selfish. Don’t drive while looking at your phone. Don’t spray your windscreen when you are speeding along and I am driving behind you, because then you are spraying my windscreen too, and basically setting off a chain reaction because now I have to spray my windscreen. And please turn off your brights when I am approaching from the front at night.

2. Loud People

I love listening to other people’s conversations as much as the next girl, but if I am in a restaurant with friends, I do not want to hear your beer-belly laughter and shrieking as if you are at my table, or as if you want to share the joke with the whole place. As an Afrikaans speaker myself, I am ashamed to admit it is often the Afrikaans families who are shouting across the table at each other, sharing their conversations with the neighbouring restaurants.

3. Dirty Dishes in the Sink

If you are going to come to my house, and place your mug or plate INSIDE the sink, you might as well leave. If you leave your dishes to soak inside the sink overnight, you might as well leave my life. To me, dirty cutlery belongs next to the sink, so that you can easily fill up the sink for the washing process. If you need to let a pot soak, a little bit of soap and water inside the pot goes a long way.

4. Yawning or Coughing or Sneezing without Covering Your Mouth

In Afrikaans we have a little rhyme for children that goes “hou jou hand voor jou mond, sê die hoender vir die hond, sê die hond vir die padda, sê die padda vir die aap, as jy hoes, nies of gaap”. Directly translated, and not rhyming at all, it goes: “put your hand over your mouth, says the chicken to the dog, says the dog to the frog, says the frog to the monkey, if you cough, sneeze or yawn.” I don’t want to have your spit flying at me, I don’t want your diseases, and I definitely don’t want to see whatever you ate for breakfast stuck in your teeth.

5. Social Media Mirror Selfies

Please can the selfie-fad come to an end now? I admit, I have been the culprit of the occasional selfie on Facebook or Instagram, but normally there is another human (or at the very least some kind of animal) in the photo with me. I get it – posting a selfie in the mirror shows everyone your glamorous outfit, your new hair, or a glimpse of your shower and toilet in the background. So here are some suggestions: a) self-timer camera is a common feature on cellphones these days; b) I will probably see you at the event you dressed up for so no need for the mirror selfie and c) if you did dress up for an event, ask someone to take a shot of you and your crew!