Today’s challenge is writing about myself . So here I am:
This is something I am not very comfortable with…It is easy to put words to paper (or in this case, screen) when writing about dreams, activities or adventures, but having to break myself down to what is good, bad and ugly about me is a real test. I saw this topic was coming up today, even though I told myself I won’t look ahead at the next challenge, and spent a great deal thinking about which aspects of myself I would slot into which category.
How is it that this is the hardest part?
I am intelligent, I am passionate, I am easy-going. I have an above-average athletic ability and can easily run a couple of kilometers without training. I am trusting. I love easily and completely. I am empathetic. I care, sometimes too much, about things that I cannot control.
I have a loving and supportive family, and two sisters who will be my life-long best friends. I have an amazing dog. I may not have many friends, but I have loyal friends.
I have future plans and idealistic dreams. I see the silver linings in the darkest clouds.
“Familiarity breeds contempt”
Unfortunately, that statement applies to me. Despite my future plans and my desire to see more of the world and perhaps move somewhere tropical, I am contempt in the safe bubble I have created for myself. This place is home, and I cannot summon the bravado to even consider leaving my family, friends, and the city I have called home my entire life.
Laziness. This is probably my worst attribute. If cleanliness is next to godliness, then I am going straight to the underworld. I am not a dirty person, per se, but I am a messy, cluttered person, and I tend to be too lazy to do anything real about it (it has been on many new years resolutions!).
Another, recently developed, “bad” is my social anxiety, my tendency to cancel on plans, and my fear of committing to plans. This is something I am actively working on, and hoping one day soon it will fall into the “good”!
It would be easy to make a list of all the elements I find ugly on my own body, but I am not going to do that. We deal with enough judgement and criticism every day by just turning on the television, paging through a magazine or comparing ourselves to our gorgeous friends.
My “ugly” would be my attitude towards my mother. We have had a tumultuous relationship over the years, and it is still easy for me to get annoyed and react harshly. It is too easy for me to make a joke about her to my friends, when I know she is only caring. Sure, we are completely different personalities and don’t always see eye-to-eye, but she only means well.